Day #3 – Pay attention to the Positive
I’ve found there is this law of ‘intention’ in my life and the lives of those around me. What I pay attention to grows, gets better, flourishes. Likewise what I forget about, neglect, or turn my back to – well… atrophy.
Like what happens to a garden when you neglect it: (I would know, been there done that…) weeds grow like crazy and one is left with dwindling, thirsty plants that in the end produce little to no fruit if they are lucky enough to survive.
Make your marriage the Victoria Gardens!! (haven’t been there, look it up online :)) or like the Middleton Place Gardens my husband and I just visited in South Carolina, they have been tended to by one FAMILY for over 300 years. Gorgeous, historic, they hold a charm and authenticity that comes in no other way than TIME, a family paying attention to them, to the BEST in them, over a long period of time. I hope all the gardens of our marriage are that good or better, I hope we pass on a legacy of cultivating the very best in our marriages!!
Cultivating the best simply means paying attention to the best, building on it, appreciating it, keeping it, treasuring it… OK, there are lots of way to grow the best in your garden.. in short, PAY ATTENTION TO THE POSITIVE!!!
I will never forget the story I read of a woman who was on the verge of divorce then felt impressed to list ten positive things about her husband each night. In a few short weeks, something magical started to happen, LOVE was blossoming in her heart again! Their marriage survived and thrived!! Same man, same woman, simply noticing the good in one another changed their future, their marriage, their family, their legacy.
Let’s not turn our backs on the best in our spouse but notice it, appreciate it, cultivate it, GROW IT!!!
Day #3 challenge – Pay attention to the positive in your spouse, in your marriage today!!
Write it down to keep, write it in a letter to them, or in the very least, tell them you noticed. The beginning of a better marriage for each of us already!!
CELEBRATE all the good in your marriage today!!!
And let me know how it goes! C
p.s. This morning is just exquisitely beautiful because the sun is streaming through the autumn leaves here! I sometimes get gloom and doom in my point of view and then my husband gently reminds me of all the good. He becomes the sun cutting through my cloudy day. We can each be the sun shining in our families by pointing out the good! NOTHING is more beautiful than sunshine across a gorgeous garden!!!
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I think your outlook on marriage is wonderful. I have been married for 7 years and a lot of days it’s hard to see the positives . I am really enjoying reading these and trying to apply them in my marriage. Thank you
Dear Amber, Thank you so much for your very meaningful comment. Marriage is an amazing journey with ups and downs, including hard years, stretching and growing pains, along with fantastic rewards, times of wonder, joy, delight and great fulfillment! I recently saw the benefits of marriage listed so simply in the New Era: Strength, Confidence and Support, Children, Sharing, Counsel, Laughter, Love, Service, Friendship, Trust, and Physical and Emotional Intimacy. (Aug. 2013, pg 32, Joys of Marriage) I personally feel that it is worth creating this deepest friendship of your life that lets you enjoy every other joy of life more deeply!! Glad you are here celebrating your marriage with us!! Thanks so much for your comment!