Well… at least be patient with it.
Last night, well actually it was morning by then, at the 2 am feeding of Sarah,
(Adelynn sleeps til 5 or 6 am most nights but Sarah still needs her 2 o’clock snack”)
I read a message from my friend Kim from New Hampshire. She said,
“Just wanted to let you know I loved your video [Family of 12 in Twelve Minutes] and wanted to give you kudos for showing a little of the chaos that comes with raising a family (I think that is so critical for folks to understand that embracing the chaos is part of the journey). In other words you did not portray having all these kids in a pristine environment! Nice job”
That made me feel GREAT!
I am sad to admit that each time my older daughters and I would watch the video we would cringe over the piles of laundry (hey! they were clean piles I hope you noticed), undone hair, the messy unfinished basement, the changing table that just happened to be extra loaded with supplies for picture day that morning (I really do usually keep that cleared for babies!)- even the girly bedspread in my son’s room because we’d had guests the week before made us flinch! (Isaac came home from school the day after my brother put the video up and said cheerfully, ‘kids at school liked the video, no one even mentioned my girly bedspread!’ We were happy for him.)
But in undertaking this vlog endeavor, that was part of the deal: be real. Yes, though the mess may be ‘real’ it has never really been my idea of ideal! But I have finally come to realize and even appreciate that mess is part of EVERY IMPROVEMENT PROJECT!
For instance, recently our hospital was expanding, building new wings and remodeling some of the old ones. It looked downright worse than ever for a while! (Like my house with newborn twins!) One day, visiting the hospital I noticed pleasant signs entreating, “Please excuse our mess, we’re growing!”
Yes, and that is what families are doing—growing people! I could almost use our house as a gauge of just how much growing we have going on in each particular season of life!
We all need and crave order, stability, cleanliness, peace and there are many times and different seasons for those wonderful experiences, but please let’s remember in the building of our own families and others to excuse the mess!– Just as my friend from New Hampshire did, perhaps even celebrate it!
Love, CaMarie and Crew
P.S. Some thoughts that help me remember the hearts and souls of my children are more important than the perfection of my home:
(Grandma gave me this one at Isaac’s birth)
The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up,
As I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs.
Dust, go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.
— by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
“Having a clean home should not be our main goal; it should be part of our goal to be happy and have happy families.”
— The Latter-day Saint Woman, pg 146
6 simple steps to a clean home and heart:
- get the garbage out!
- clean the dirty laundry!
- give, give, give away!
- dust off the good stuff now and then!
- scrub up!
- A place for everything and everything in its place!
— by:me
I’ve found my housekeeping jobs funner when I think of them as making the home inviting and enticing more than just technical picking up and scrubbing!
I’ve used, and liked, Daryl Hoole’s book on housekeeping and Don Aslett’s book on cleaning.
Good luck managing the messes! Love, C & Crew
How do you balance nurturing and comforting your family with housekeeping demands?
Adelynn and Sarah are growing so fast! They both have the cutest little smiles! Love to all!
They are just starting to outgrow those darling little clothes you got them, favorites that they’ve used so much! Have you even seen them yet?! Hope you are up for a drop-in! You’ve got to see them soon!
I love reading your blog! I’m so glad for Kim’s comment! I have to admit that when I watched your video I was happy to see all the chaos! I have always looked up to you and the way you handle and raise your family. Often times I have to pause with all the chaos at our house and remember that my kids are growing and I need to focus on our family and not worry so much how my house might look to others! 🙂
Thank you Shaunie!! For the WHOLE comment! SOO happy to see you here – we miss your family still!- and yes thx to Kim too. What you said is true Shaunie, we need the courage and confidence as mothers to care more about our growing children than how the house may look to the others at times! You are doing GREAT at mothering your wonderful family I know! Love from all of ours!
Great advice on both sides of the issue. Keep it up.
I love having discovered you through Joc’s beinglds blog. I need to hear this right now. My in-laws are coming on Monday and our place is a disaster as we’ve been on a whirlwind hunt for living descendants here in Germany where we live right now (US military contractors). {We found them this week by the way just in time for the in-laws visit!!!!} I have four kids 9-20mos and am the oldest of 10 myself. Thank you for being real and showing us how to find joy among the chaos that is growing a family. Love it!!! Your voice is important, thank you!!!
Thank you so much Tracie! I’m sooo glad to hear you’ve chosen the more important and lasting business to be about! How extraordinarily happy to hear you’ve connected with long lost relatives! What a blessing! Now that is building family! Congrats on your 4 children also! I can already tell they are wonderfully blessed to have the family they do! Love and best wishes! CaMarie & Crew
CaMarie i love how Ruth captures the idea of ‘knowing there is dust and cobwebs’ but chooses her baby to fill her time. I often tell my brother who has three kids under 4, ‘Homes are for Expressions, NOT Impressions’. It can be easier said than done as im 28yrs with no kids of my own but we must choose how we spend our ‘today’ moments, for we are not promised tomorrow.
Love to all,
Thank you for the wonderful comment Kerri-ann! Especially good timing on your part as this month has been FULL to the BRIM with other, more important, things than housework and I find myself having to REMEMBER it is OK! Thank you for reminding me “we must choose how we spend our ‘today’ moments” everyday. Choosing wisely today does make our tomorrows SO MUCH BETTER! Please stay in touch! Thank you! CaMarie and Crew